"The unitary element equals God"
Aristoteles

I read a book that has fascinated my imagination. Its name is "El hombre que calculaba" (I´m pretty sure that there must be an English version whose name I ignore) and it was a book about math and life. In it, a great mathematician, Beremir Azis (or I don´t know what the hell was his name) reflected great wisdom in the mitological Persia.

One of his great reflexions was about the concept of number and their great consecuences. He stated that the number was an estratification of the concept of quantity. Any beast is capable with a single glance to determine if there has been a significative change in the quantity, but just an inteligent person could "count" and determine the "number" of elements. Therefore, the number arises as the necesity of cuantifying the mental process of counting and to assign a value, the "quantity".

Numbers arise and all their relationships in the big science of mathematics, doctor of all sciences and distinguished daughter of filosophy, mother of all sciences.And all numbers present their beautiful and gorgeous features, their infinity does not rest them the spark that each one of them has.

One of their features is that they can be expressed in several ways:

2 = 1 + 1
12 = 3 * 2 * 2 = 3 * 2^2
8 = SR(64)
5 = 2.5 + .5 + 4/2

And so on ...

Taking into consideration the natural procedures of human logic, synthesis and analysis, the ways of expressing numbers vary infinetly
in both directions.
For example, given that:

.5x + .25x + .2x +.05x = x

The previous equations shows that the sum of the parts of a everything always is going to be equal to the unit. Therefore if we consider that everything has to do with everything, the sinergy, summatory, fusion or synthesis of the elements of the universe should be equal to a superior unit, that represents the wholeness of the universe. Then the explanation of:

"The number that represents the unit is God"

Following the inverse pattern, analysis, you can "analyze" or divide the unit in many ways, but you can mainly do two, uniformly or variably. Percentages represent a variable division.

Uniformly is represented by the arimetic operation: division. This one enables to cut the unit in equal parts, giving them uniformity without pondering any of them.

Among all posible divisions, there is one worthy of mention: by two.
This represents the least possible problems for human understanding.

And this is how duality is defined, a unit represented by the most simple division, where the totality of a unit is fractioned in two parts that aparently struggle with each other but equilibrate forces in a spiral of constant fusion and give form to the unit. The best representation of the most simple division is the so famous chinese symbol, yin-yan.

The black part goes into the white one and a part of the white does the same with the black. A little bit of both is on the opposite side.
Yin-yan by definition is the grafic representation of the most simple divition. Summatory of both areas gives as result the totality of the circle´s area which represents the unit.

Duality (most simple division) represents the unit as two parts apparently distincts.

There is always a fact that should be considered when studying human behavior and that is the fact that population grows exponentially. Only those who understand how this goes, understand how deeply this afects us.

For example, you used to be the best basketball player in your neighborhood, you beated everyone, that means five guys. In five years, your neighborhood grew and now you have to beat 15 guys to be the best. Not 1 more, not 3 more not 5 more, 10 more guys.


This makes that we care less about each other, as long as he or she doesnt interfere with my life, we are cool. I dont care if he worships Satan in his basement or has orgies with monkies, if he doesnt mess up with me, I dont mess up with you.


Therefore, we dont have time to know people, instead we make ourselves believe that we know people. We "analyze" people and "study" his or her behavior and make judgement contained in a label.

So, nowadays we have these stupid jerks who call themselves "experts" who are specialists revealing the truth about the people. They see how you walk, they see how you move your hands, your feet and they know who you are. I fucking hate it.
They are not willing to give a chance, they simply "know" you.

You dont have the time to explore the likes, the illusions, the dreams, the frustrations and specially all the abilities that a person has.

I write this because someone that I like has given me the friends treatment, I hate it. I think that she has misjudged me and thinks things that hardly correspond me. I know that I have much to offer but she hasnt taken the trouble to know that.

I hope that there would be a time in which we´ll take the time to know, know each other.

Well, Im kinda emo, depressed guy. Im pretty sure that should be thousands of people like me here, but I dont like labels of any kind, so I dont pick any flags.

I want to say that I havent cried in 5 or 4 years, Im not sure when was that last time I did. I remembered that I was at the dining room, my dad had a fight with mom and started crying like a baby. What I do remember perfectly is that I felt so powerless that I would have given my fucking dick just to stop crying, but I couldnt. Mom and dad stopped fighting inmediately but I just couldnt stop. I remembered that I wasnt crying just for that, it was for many things that had acumulated over the time. But I didnt feel any release, any catarsis I just felt weak. I did for almost 2 hours. Before that, I cried twice the year before. It was in front of my classmates, it was so humilliating. I mean, its understandable for a man to cry for his wife when she dies, at her funeral. Everyone will understand and be supportive, but what if a man out of nothing starts crying, people will be intrigued by his tears, but they will say: "Poor guy" and will put him in their list of "cryers". Its just that my tears always come in the worst time in the worst situation.

I hate crying, i hate people seeing my tears. So that time I made
a promise, I will never cry until one of my family members dies. So, I have kept it since then. But now, I have been thinking this thing through, Have I done a right choice? I mean, crying is a part of the human being. Denying my tears would be denying a part of myself?

This thing has made some changes inside of me, I can feel how my heart gets colder everyday, I despise those who feel hurt just by a reversal, I see people crying and I feel pity for them. I start to wonder if that is OK.

But then, I wake up one morning and I see the day and the sky and I feel profoundly inspired, and I want to cry, I desperately want to do it, I have no reason, but its just something that I want to do.

I wish to cry
for an hour or so
for a day or so
for a year or so
for a lifetime.

For no reason at all
but to take off those things
those things we call tears
little water falling from the eyes.

Because I can feel their weight
over my soul
like a ghost devouring the victim
like little drops that have cristalized
into needles that pierce my heart.

Has it come the time
to brake the promise?

Well, Im sorry but my natural laguage is spanish, so for those who dont understad, kellogs.

Atardecer

Un atardecer hermoso, es el escenario de estas palabras. Una tarde fria, pero reconfortante por los anaranjados enardecidos de un sol que cae con la promesa de un nuevo dia.

A mi izquierda una montaña, a mi derecha un valle y frente a mi una orquesta de grises, azules, coniferas, oxigeno verdoso y aplausos eternos de los moradores de la noche.

Las siluetas negras de las copas de los arboles hacen contraste con la luz que muere, precuela de nubes que bailan de forma caprichosa en una danza coreografiada por los dioses.

La tierra aun caliente por la energia robada al astro rey, abraza los verdes que perfuman el aire con sus fragacias exquisitas, tan propias de los tesoros del subreino a merced del bosque.

Y yo, en estupor, tan solo puedo llorar y admirar, con el alma regocijada, hasta que el divino creador cierre el telon negro y el silbido de los vientos nocturnos me susurre al oido:
"El espectaculo ha terminado, pero si vives hasta mañana, ven y te mostrare otro aun mas hermoso, si no, muere con este regalo que fue hecho solo para ti"

Im not gonna write about blues all the time.

Well, before I wrote this very first letters I sighed very deeply. I yearn for something that I rarely feel, true freedom. I have always hidden my inner self and I really want it, but I wonder if that´s possible.

To begin with, I have used this nick before, so there are a few people who know it, and then I wonder if I can come up with a real one that describes me, but no one, I mean no one knows.

Your customs, your lifestyle, even the way you walk, betray you, scream out loud who you are, and sometimes you wish to run away from that, because people can see who you are.

Im a person that I dont want to be. Im this insecure, jalous, violent, dumb, depressive person that I hate to be and while Im writting this I can feel how my rage grows inside of me, and the thing that pisses me the most is that I dont know who I am, where to go, and what to do.

Any person who has a normal IQ might think "This is probably a fifteen-year-old chick who is depressed because her parents are splitting up" but no, Im a guy, Im supposed to be strong, to be the equilibrium of the people around me, my family, my friends, I feel the necesity of being a leader, but Im not and every time I try to talk about this to anyone, I just get angrier.

I have no powe, no special skills, no nothing, Im sick of this. Gotta change, dont know where Im gonna find the strenght.